Men. They are wonderful. They are helpful, funny, strong, and make good company. But I do not need a man to complete me. I am the only single girl out of all of my friends. ALL. OF. THEM. I have a lot of friends.
My last relationship was rough and it took me a long time to get over it. I kept hearing "Well you need to get back on the horse." "Don't let one man ruin you for another." "You'll find someone that's perfect for you!" "Don't be so picky." " Give someone a chance!" "Well he may not seem right now, but he could later!"
Jesus Christ. My last relationship took up 5 years of my life. I was in looooove. He treated me like shit and I just let him do it because I didn't want to lose him. Life events happened and I finally realized I was better than what he was giving me. But it wasn't like I flipped a switch and got over him the next day. It was long, tiring, and I learned so much about myself. In that process I realized what a good person I was. I set my standards high and my morals higher. And I refuse to lower my standards for any man ever again. I've attempted a couple of relationships since then.
Boy #1. - Playa, playa. <-- Bye bye, jackass.
Boy #2. "I think women should have to take care of the children. I feel sorry for all the single dads out there." <---- Oh, HELL no. Get THE FUCK out of my room!
All the time I've experienced these things I've told my friends about them. Each time I get responses like "Oh, give him a chance." "It's not that bad."
The hell it's not. I know who I am and what I want. I don't deserve any less than that and any man, any person that thinks lowly of you is not worth your shit! You think I'm screwed up because I'm single and have been for a while? Well you're pathetic for thinking that any of those things are marginally okay.
I was having a conversation with my professor about what career path I wanted to take. I'm still uncertain, and I mentioned in passing that "my track record with boys wasn't very good and if that didn't work out I wanted to be able to support myself." I think that is a perfectly reasonable statement.
She looked at me like I was a fucking loon. She said "You're 18! You can't say that. You're going to find someone!!"
Well what if I don't? Is there something wrong with that? Why is there something wrong with me being 18 and knowing what I want in a significant other? Why is it unacceptable to keep my standards high? Why do I have to have a man to complete me?
I don't.
But it is obvious that many women and girls think they do.
Like I mentioned earlier, I am the only single girl out of my group of friends. Most of them are young. Some are married. Several are engaged. Some are having kids. But every single one of them revolve their lives around their man and I never see them. Why? Why do you have to spend EVERY waking minute with your boyfriend? I was in love once. I do know what that is. I understand it. Yes, I wanted to spend a lot of time with him. But I never forgot my friends. I would always make time for them, no matter what. If they needed me -- I was there. If they missed me I would try to see them as soon as I could. I never once put my boyfriends existence in front someone else, ESPECIALLY a friend or a best friend. I don't feel like having a boyfriend, fiance.. whatever .. is a valid excuse to put your friends on the back burner. Doing so completely alienates the person or people that you need when you want to share your engagement or pregnancy. If you do that you may not have a shoulder to cry on if shit goes down hill with your man. It's going to be pretty fucking lonely.
I don't get it. I don't understand revolving your existence around someone with a penis. And apparently it makes me "dumb, closed off, high maintenance" and all those other adjectives I've been called. But you know what it really makes me? It makes me a good person. It makes me a strong person. I'm 18 years old and I know what the fuck is up. Who knows, I may find some freak of nature that can meet all the things that I want in a guy. But if I don't? You're not going to find me sniveling in a corner because I'm single. You're going to find me riding down the road in my Mustang GT 500 because I grabbed life by the balls, not a man by the balls, and made my own damn life.
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