Too much awkward.

Awkward situations are unfortunately part of everyday life. Fortunately there are a few guidelines to help you make these situations more bearable. Most people try to make the best of these situations by finding the funny, while others avoid recognizing that there is an awkward situation at all. But, if you’re like any normal person, you’ve been faced with unexpected situations that strip you of your dignity, raise your blood pressure, and leave you dumbfounded – trying to find the nearest escape route away from the public eye. Luckily, awkward situations happen to everyone. Your average Joe, celebrities… even former President Bush faced an embarrassing moment when he threw up on the Japanese Prime Minister, Former President Ford fell on his face leaving Air Force One, and I’m sure everyone remembers Jessica Simpson’s “Chicken of the Sea” fiasco. In fact, just the other day I had an awkward situation occur when an ex-boyfriend that I literally have not talked to in two years popped up on my Facebook and told me that he got married and was thinking about having kids with his wife. I don’t know what you’re supposed to do with that information… Which brings me to my first point:

 Exes. 

There are two main types of awkward situations when dealing with Exes: The Direct interaction and the indirect interaction. The direct interaction occurs when you are face to face with your ex. Such as when a teacher assigns partners, you go out to eat and your ex is the waiter/waitress… basically when you’re thrown into an unavoidable situation with an ex-significant other. 

The solution: Try and be a civilized human being and act like you’re the happiest person on the face of the planet. Ignore the awkward as best you can and busy yourself with horribly funny text messages and check Facebook often. Distractions are key.

The Indirect interaction is easier to handle. If you receive a message from an ex that you haven’t heard from in a while the obvious thing would be to not respond. But if you’re not smart enough to think of that first(like me) and find yourself in a conversation that you really don’t care to be having but  don’t want to be mean… use lots of question marks and exclamation marks. That’s why they were created.

The next awkward situation I will be addressing is the Foot in Mouth. Anytime something inappropriate, rude, or hurtful comes out of your mouth before your brain can give it an okay it can be categorized as The Foot in Mouth.  This is perhaps the most shameful of all awkward situations. It is difficult to recover because an awkward silence usually follows.

The Solution: IMMEDIATELY after you realize that you have humiliated yourself, direct the attention to someone or something else. Change the subject.  You can also try the confusion method. Ex: I was wedding dress shopping with my best friend and she asked me what I thought about feathers. Apparently, feathers are a big deal for her and she loves them. I don’t.  Using the confuse method, I avoided the awkward silence immediately after and recovered.  “Oh, I thought you told me you didn’t. Didn’t you? Didn’t you say that on the way down here? Hmm... I must have misunderstood you. I know you will look beautiful whatever you choose!” 

Unfortunately, I am known for my trips, falls, and other mishaps. I’ve had a lot of experience in this area. Tripping and falling is another humiliating experience, but with a good attitude and the right recovery you can only care a little bit like me! There are several different types of falling. The public fall, the sports fall, and that one fall you’d just like to forget.

The public fall is when you’re at an important event. Graduation, awards day… some place that falling would be top 5 of the worst things that can happen. If you’ve fallen at any one of those events (raise hand) you must laugh it off, ignore the red that has surely come over your face and, laugh with anyone that tries to bring it up later. Or you can bow. That seems to work too.

The sports fall: The sports fall gives you a little leeway. You can usually pass it off as hustle. But if you find yourself in a situation where you can’t… Like after hitting your first homerun you tripped over third base and fell face first in front of the other team’s dugout, the recovery might be a little trickier. The solution: If you’re the center of attention and there is no way to avoid the stares of every person in that vicinity, acknowledge the awkward. Chances are it will be completely silent after you’ve created such an awkward situation for yourself. Come right out and say “well, that was embarrassing” and continue on your way. If you show that you’re completely okay with embarrassment others are less likely to bring it up.

The one that you’d like to forget.  This fall is the most humiliating. You have shamed yourself at the highest level possible. You may have fallen down a hill in front of hundreds of people. You might have caused a multi-person pile up; you could have fallen in the parking lot and caused a traffic jam because your backpack was so heavy that you couldn’t get up…

The Solution: There is none. Good luck. 

Responding to someone that isn’t talking to you is another unfortunate awkward situation that you may find yourself in. This one is a tricky situation to get out of. You must be extremely skilled if you want to come out of this without the other person realizing that you’ve made a fool of yourself.

 The solution: Don’t allow the awkward silence to set in. Continue to respond to someone invisible behind you. When the person that you actually responded to looks at you, create an awkward situation for them and make them feel shame! 

The next situation I will address is dealing with adults. Any embarrassing or awkward situations dealing with authoritative figures is extremely horrifying. There are many different situations that you can face but I will focus on two main issues:  Unfortunate timing during movie scenes and miscommunications.

Everyone has had the unfortunate experience of having your parents walk in during that one inappropriate scene during the movies. Or you have had to sit there beside your mom or dad while the actors are makin’ babies. I find that to be incredibly awkward.

The solution: Become extremely interested in your phone. Send out a mass text and pray to the good lord above that someone responds. And do not make eye contact. If you don’t acknowledge the scene, it didn’t happen. Simple as that. 

My final point is miscommunications between adults. These situations can result in groundings, all out yelling matches or in my case – a parent teacher conference.  This was perhaps the most awkward situation that I have ever been in. My sophomore year I had a teacher that singled me out and decided that I was a horrible person. It began with small things. She called me to her desk and then she called me out in the hall after accusing me of talking about her. It transitioned into her coming to my desk and writing me notes asking what was wrong with me and my family. She would then send emails to my other teachers saying that I wanted her dead. The end result was her kicking me out of class after saying that “I ruined her day and her class and she didn’t want to see me anymore.” We had a parent teacher conference and she spent the entire time crying saying that she didn’t know what to do because I was rude and disrespectful. Yeah. I know. 

The solution: Be the bigger person. Adults hate being wrong – especially in front of other adults. Agree. Say you’re sorry. Say that you’ll try harder to sit in the corner and not speak and not make below a 96. And then do everything possible to not have that teacher again. 

In conclusion I have told you about several awkward situations and what I believe is the best way to deal with them. However, the main thing you must remember is that everyone deals with awkward situations. Everyone gets humiliated and the best thing to do is embrace your inner awkward. The easier you can laugh at yourself the easier it is to deal with other people laughing at you.