I hope your character traits skip a generation.

I accept everybody for who they are. I guess that's why people are drawn to telling me things or doing things around me because they know I won't care...which is mostly true. I do just go along with it. It's your life. But there are things that people do around me that leave me feeling like I need to take a shower. Honestly. What the fuck?

People with NO concept of personal space:
This gets me every. single. time. I'm not talking about strangers that scoot up next to you on a bench, or walk too closely behind you, although that is irritating. I'm referring to the people that find it necessary to lay on you, hug on you, touch you, and ESPECIALLY the people that talk two inches away from your face.

I have this guy in my art class that LOVES to come up behind me and lay his head on my shoulder and watch me text or play games on my phone before class begins. Uh... hello? Do I go and lay my head on people's shoulders? No. Should you? NO.

My cousin finds it necessary to lay on me, have her feet on me, and wrap her arms around me when she's sitting on the sofa beside me. WE ARE ON THE SAME PIECE OF FURNITURE. THAT IS CLOSE ENOUGH, DAMN YOU. No amount of shifting positions causes this to go away. They just move with you.

Close talkers are the worst. They lean their bodies awkwardly and breathe hot air on your face. It's worst when they have eaten what must be rotten asshole with a side of fries for lunch and their breath smells like Satan himself took a shit. You can't back away. They just come closer. Excuse me. No, no I do not want to see what's stuck in your molars from the past 18 years of feeding. Nor do I want to wipe the condensation off my face from your rank ass breath. GET AWAY.

Too Much Detail. 
There are people that we are friends with and those strangers that just don't know when enough is enough.  I know secrets about people that they are probably not comfortable telling themselves. 

Sex is a main topic. I am comfortable talking about sex. It's a natural thing. Everyone does it. If you want to tell me that you and your boyfriend had sex last night, great! Good for you! I'm so glad. Maybe you'll stop being a raging bitch. But for the love of God, I do not need to know the raunchy, disturbing details of  your sex life. I do not need to know how he turned sideways and you about fell off the damn sofa because it felt so good. I do not need to know that you probably should give your boyfriend more blow jobs because you have slacked off in the last couple months. I don't need to know that you really do enjoy taking it in the ass because it's a different feel and sometimes even when you don't plan it "It just happens. It kind of slips in." Nope. No.. I don't believe that is something that I need to know. I don't. But I do know. So I'm just going to laugh with you and pretend that I'm not absolutely horrified.

Personal Hygiene. 
This is apparently lost on people. It's horrible. They stink. They are grimy. The grease in their hair could line a popcorn bucket. This is not okay. Bathe. For the love of all things Holy. BATHE.


I understand that these things are character traits. I do. But just because I accept you for who you are doesn't mean that I have given up all hope of your improvement.